Life is a roller coaster...

I'm a day early I know, but it's been a hell of a week! On a personal level I was able to live out the dream of standing centre stage at the Theatre a Royal Norwich to an applauding audience. That's off of my bucket list now. So how? I hear you ask. Well, a friend and I went to see Priscilla -Queen of the Desert on Saturdays matinee performance. We had middle front row tickets so therefore a perfect view. As we sat in our seats I noticed a step to the right of the stage, and suggested to my friend that maybe they'd get people up on stage. It was then I told her of how I'd been on the theatre Royal stage once before, but the curtains had been closed, and I'd wished for the chance to see the view from the stage with an audience. Then the show started, and the 'step' was in fact for a signer for those with hearing issues.  Anyway, we were in the bar at the intermission and I stood behind my friend while she got drinks. Suddenly I heard a voice in my head, it said 'you're going on the stage'. I discounted it, just thought I was daydreaming. Then as we stood drinking our drinks we were approached by the dance team captain of the show, he asked us to go on stage. So while everyone else took their seats, us and 8 others were lead through to back stage, and one by one we were taken into stage by the professional dancers and instructed in what to do, then we were skipping in a circle around a character on stage whilst the dancers abandoned us!!!! Then we were led up to the front of stage to take a bow to the audience, I was slap bang in the middle! It all happened so quickly, but it was amazing!  Then we had to run back to our seats do that we didn't miss any of the performance. During the performance two of the main actors locked eyes with me, and then in their curtain call they spoke directly to me and blew me kisses! It was an incredible experience! The lady sitting next to my friend thought I knew the actors! I wish! What a day! Then Sunday was spent trying to get my head straight and my nails right ready for my UEA interview on Monday. Yes. The most important interview of my life so far! I was as prepared as I felt I could be. I was nervous as hell but I asked those I love that are no longer here to be my moral support, I'm sure they were with me. I was interviewed by 3 people, a lecturer from the course, a service user and a social worker. I felt the social worker and service user liked me but wasn't so sure about the lecturer. But I liked the fact that although I was in a huge university, the social work school is just one floor of a building. I was taken on a tour after my interview (over an hour but meant to be 45 mins!) by Shelley, a lovely girl who is in yr 1 of the course. She answered questions in a way that staff wouldn't have and I was happy with her answers. The trouble is after the interview I knew that I really wanted to go there, and that the odds were heavily stacked against me, and speaking to Shelley made this all the more apparent to me. Monday night was spent mourning the fact that I wouldn't get the opportunity to go where I really wanted to, and resigning myself to having the accept my conditional place at Ipswich. Nothing against Ipswich, but I just wanted to go to UEA. Tuesday daytime meant work, then Tuesday night was back at the theatre for the Adam Hills show, booked for Heather's (my honorary sis) birthday. It was a late night, followed by a very early morning as I hit the train to Cambridege for my Anglian Ruskin University open day. I knew straight away that it wasn't the university for me, but was grateful for the experience. Got home just after 4pm, was freezing cold, starving (nothing since 5am breakfast!) and absolutely drained. It was then I did something really stupid. I checked to see if my English essay mark was in. It was. And I was heartbroken. Instead of the distinction I'd hoped for,
I'd only got a merit. I worked out that I spent around 50 hrs on that essay.  I really truly thought it was the best piece Id written since the start of this course, and yet I'd only been marked as a merit. I was completely devastated. Weds late afternoon and night was spent crying, rethinking the essay, going through the feedback and still not understanding how I'd got it so wrong. So I emailed Chris, my lecturer and he's going to talk it through with me next Friday at college. For some reason getting the merit mark made me think that this whole dream was going to come crashing around my head, I had a real confidence crisis. A massive dip. Admittedly I haven't had a proper break since the onset of this course, and I think I'm just very very tired. Thursday I knew I had a 13 hr day ahead, and I decided not to upset myself and ignore my emails. However by lunchtime I'd forgotten that plan. And a message came through to say I needed to check my UCAS track. Omg UEA have refused me. Again! But I thought I may as well get all the upset over in one go, so I logged into track to see what had changed. UEA. THEY SAID YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! They actually said YES!!!!! The UEA wants me to study there! I went from rock bottom, to the clouds in one movement. I sobbed tears of joy! I cannot remember the last time I felt that happy! The rest of my day went by in a blur, then on Friday Anglia Ruskin said yes too!!!!! So I got a yes from all five of my choices! Though the offers are all conditional. So I just need to make sure I keep this momentum up so that I can achieve my required grades and take my place as a student at the UEA. I still cannot believe that it's not some big mistake. I am so grateful to my moral support on the day and despite this week being like Ronan Keatings song (and this weeks title), I can clearly see a light at the end of the tunnel. Yes there will still be a current to paddle against but I can see the finish line in site, and nothing is going to stop me from crossing it...x